Well folks,
Finally I've had that moment of clarity. You know when you wake up and realize that the sarcasm in your voice is not because you're really that funny, but really because you're in that much pain. If I laugh it will keep me from crying, right? I'm not that person; I promise. Yes, I was spawned from a die hard worrier, who revels in gossip and all things fill in the blank. But, honestly I'm plain miserable. The worst part is I have no idea how I got here, or where it started. Just typing the words out --sucks. I hate being this honest, and I truly wish those that take advantage of me had and inkling of what they've done to me. Yes, I'm playing the victim, but it does take two to tango...or rather square dance...and I don't mean in a fun party polka kind of style. I let them take advatage of me. Like I do with most things, I hope that since I'm taking the pass now, it will come back to me two fold. Yet it never has. Not once. I was raised a doormat. The question is, how do I stop being one? For 28 years I've been insecure and indifferent when I shouldn't have. I've always given people the benefit of the doubt. Trusted too much and gave more than I had to give. Now I feel used up, betrayed and plain bewildered.
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